How to Survive the Holidays Without Losing Yourself

I’ve always had mixed feelings about Christmas

Not because I’m against the holidays. I love ritual. I love warmth. And you know I love sparkle.

But the version with the overpackaged toiletries in boxes coated in plastic glitter that can’t be recycled, the decorations that are used for one season and then discarded, the panic-bought gifts that go straight into the giveaway box... that's harder to love.

The art of gifting thoughtfully

Right before I left for the winter, a friend dropped by with a few things:

• A bag of macadamia nuts (because she knew it was my favourite)
• A jar of Yacon Syrup (a natural sweetener that doesn't spike blood sugar)
• A bottle of homemade turmeric and ginger juice

It was thoughtful. It was useful. And it was perfect. That’s the kind of giving I want more of.

Homemade Gift Ideas

Her gifts got me thinking. They were personal but universally appreciated (at least for adults) and something you could make in a batch and gift to everyone that year without it feeling generic.

Plus, making things at home is a beautiful winter ritual in itself.

Here's a few low-cost ideas I've made and loved (you'll want to make extra too keep!):

• Jams and chutneys
• Homemade granola mixes
• Body scrubs
• Cookies (classic, or get weird with flavours)
• Hot chocolate on a stick (haven't made this one, but it seems like a cute festive idea!)
• Chilli oil (add your own twist with different seeds, nuts, spice levels)

And then there’s the family stuff

Even when you genuinely love them, being around family during the holidays can be... a lot. It brings up everything: the warm, the weird, the unresolved. Add kids to the mix and the intensity gets cranked up a notch.

As someone without kids (now 40 and still child-free), I can’t speak to what it’s like to create Christmas for a child. That’s not my territory. I imagine it takes a lot. Energy. Planning. Heart. You want to make it magical, and I fully respect that.

What I can speak to is what it’s like to be around all of that as a guest. To visit families with kids. To be the auntie, the friend, the observer, showing up with your own rhythm and values, while trying not to get swallowed by the noise.

Because avoiding it isn’t always an option. And being a Grinch about it isn’t who I want to be either.

But there are parts that still feel like a lot.

Like the gifts you didn’t ask for

Pretending to love a well-meaning but wildly off gift is… a delicate art. Especially when you’re trying to live with more intention.

But it’s okay. Not every gift has to land. Someone tried. That counts.

Say thank you sincerely, then pass it along to someone who’ll appreciate it more.

Or the unsolicited life commentary

“So, what’s next for you?”

“Have you thought about kids?”

“Are you still doing that glitter thing?”

“Just trying to help…”

If you grew up around Asian aunties, you already know. The filter doesn’t exist. And I kind of love them for it.

Yes, it can be wildly inappropriate. But it’s usually well meant. And do I take it personally? Not even a little.

They’re just doing what they’ve always done: offering opinions from a different time, a different set of values. And that’s fine. I find it funny, almost endearing, how wildly different their life playbook is from mine.

Most of the time, I meet their questions with amusement. Sometimes, I even play along, gently provocative, but always in good humour.

But if something does feel tender, and it’s coming from someone you care about, shift the topic. Use humour. Say, “Thanks, I’ve got it covered.”

And if it’s coming from someone you don’t care about?
You’re allowed to say, “I’d rather not get into that.” You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Not every comment needs a comeback. Not every question deserves your energy.

So if you’re heading into the holidays trying to stay present without losing your mind.

Here's 5 takeaways I’m holding onto:

1. Give less, but give better. Make it homemade. Make it useful.
2. Let people do them. You don’t need to fix Christmas. Not everyone celebrates like you do. Soften where you can. Notice what’s working. Find the pockets of good.
3. Meet unwanted gifts and advice with kindness. The gifts and the comments are usually well meant, even if they miss the mark. They come from a different playbook, and honestly, how lucky that you get to write your own.
4. Preserve your energy. Step away when you need to. Sneak out for fresh air. Sit in stillness, even if it’s just in the toilet for a few minutes.
5. Offer something small and real. A thoughtful gift. A helping hand. An open and curious conversation. You don’t have to match the chaos, just bring your kind of care.

And if you want to add a bit of sparkle to the festivities, you know where to find us!